Online Dating: The Good, The Bad and The Weird

In this modern age, no one has the time to go out and court girls anymore right? This is not the 13th century where lads chase after lasses riding their horses and showing chivalry while parading their swords and knighthood. Nope, that is not the case now. No more damsels in distress nor dragons to be slashed off anymore.

Instead, it’s the era of online dating. A concept so foreign yet familiar to many of us. Where both man and woman are the masters of their own destiny and love story. In fact, statistics have proven a steady positive increase in how online dating are perceived by Malaysians. Many are not embarrassed to admit they found relationship through the means of an online platform.

HOW IT WORKS

Much like how an arranged marriage works but this time you get to a play the role and choose. No more parents scathingly throwing unwanted comments and blatant criticisms. Most dating apps work in a similar fashion and it’s fairly simple. You register and set up your own account with details and photos of yourself along with narrating who you are as a person. Most dating apps require you to fill up your name, age, education, career, weight, height, race, religion, ethnicity and interests. Likewise, you will be given the choice to check out other users’ profile and chat with them if you find them interesting. If you wish to have a deeper connection, you can initiate a first date with your potential future spouse. That’s basically how it runs.

THE GOOD

1) VARIETY

Wow, have you seen a catalogue where all the products you’ve ever dreamt of, being serve in the same place? It’s like a kid going in to Toys R Us for the first time or a kid dragging his/her parents to a candy store where all that are in might be yours to shove down your throat.

You have the options to set your personal preference. It’s not a game of waiting anymore, everyone has the option to check some boxes off their checklist. You want a partner who’s into dogs? Tick. A partner that’s athletic but is also a baker? Checked. How about a partner who writes you songs and serenades you to sleep with his/her cello skills? Checked. Oh wait, you want a pretty bookworm as your soulmate? Of course they are there in Tinder. Checked.

The possibilities can be endless and daunting at the same time.

2) CONVENIENT

Ya lah, the one thing Malaysians love is always convenience. Gone are the days you try asking for a girl’s phone number after trying to catch her eye a few times across the cafe table. Now, it’s just you, your smartphone and fast wifi.

Waiting for the MRT to work? Swipe right. Swipe left. Swipe right.

Waiting for your food at lunch? Ding. Swipe. Swipe.  Ah, such a babe. Superlike.  

Anytime. Anywhere. Anyhow.

THE BAD

1) PRETENTIOUSNESS

There’s no one way to detect genuineness through a screen. Do you remember your high school crushes? Was is just their looks or more than that? Online dating may be convenient, but it can be frustrating because you never know whether the person you’re talking to is really who they claim to be.

How do a few impressions of a heavily-edited photos with most of them highlighting their massively toned body or pretty features hyped you up? How does “spiritual but not religious” embody a person’s view if not just to scare of a bunch of strangers silently swiping through their photos each afternoon at 12pm?

What about those crafted narratives of their own persona so good to be true, it feels too tacky at some point? Even worse they might be lying about their own persona, which ends up attracting more harm than good.

2) LESS IS MORE

Sometimes, less is more. The growing number of Malaysian online matching and dating app mushrooming all over leads to a vicious cycle where you constantly feel like the next one might be better. Many singles (and taken) people out there are getting very picky or tend to be super judgmental due to the choices they are given.

The emotional intensity might just drown some singles in the idea that their perfect better half is somewhere floating in the sea of profiles waiting to be found and saved. Instead, rather than slowly dipping their foot in the puddle of relationship, one might just drown trying to jump in headfirst, so much so without any life jacket, plunging to what they think is the Nirvana of love.

THE WEIRD

I’m sure everyone here who has tried online dating have experienced at least being ghosted on before. You know what it means right? It’s when you’re having a great conversation with a potential partner, suddenly they go missing – no rhyme or reason, no explanation given. You thought you guys had a moment, a connection, a glimpse of what might have been but nope, you were ghosted on. You never hear from them ever again.

In some other cases, you could have gotten catfished. A picture you swiped yes shows a young and fit looking person with high cheekbones and a dazzling smile. You superliked them and they liked you back. A nice, lovely conversation begins and you decided to meet up for the first time.

The awaited day arrived… your heart was pounding, waiting to meet this girl of your dreams. You agreed to meet at the front of Starbucks, and both will be wearing matching white outfits so that it will be easier to recognize each other.

Eh, wait a minute. Who’s this gempal aunty smiling at me and waving. Is that.. is that a wedding band on her finger? Is she LittleDucky690? Oh no..but she’s wearing white.
Helppp…...

PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE

Decisions, decisions… There is really no one-way street to this. End of the day, to each their own. No one has the right to stop another from doing whatever the person desires out of life, especially in terms of choosing a life partner. Plus, if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. So, question is are you brave enough to be the captain of your life? Who knows, the fling might end up with a diamond ring.

EXPERIENCES

Share with us your personal thoughts/experiences in online dating. Whether you found your better half there or you’ve been scammed before, do share with us. We’re always happy to hear your side of the coin.

 

Source: https://www.nst.com.my/news/exclusive/2017/12/315280/online-dating-you

Nadhira Hizwani

Nadhira

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